★ MILLIONS SOLD* AS SEEN ON GARAGE GAZETTE CHUCK NORRIS APPROVED** 18+ WAR CRIMES SIMULATED

WARMONGER

THE CARD GAME THAT HAS ENDED 1,000+ FRIENDSHIPS***

Declare war on your friends, your family, and your own sense of fair play. 2–6 players. All losers.

$150.00 $25
+ shipping, handling, and emotional damage
Warehouse: Thor's garage. Stock: "working on it."

WHY WARMONGER?

300 HAND-DRAWN CARDS*

*Illustrated by Jenn during her lunch breaks, in crayon, then "cleaned up" in a free art app.

ZERO LUCK, ALL SPITE

A strategy game so deep it requires a rules lawyer, a therapist, and a designated cool-down corner.

PLAYS IN "30 MINUTES"

Actual average playtime: 3 hours, one thrown table, and a group chat that goes silent for a week.

COLLECTIBLE TIN BOX

Also doubles as a paperweight, a coaster, and — in emergencies — a weapon of war.

AGES 8 TO WAR CRIMINAL

Family friendly, until someone plays the Scorched Earth card on their own grandmother.

100% ANALOG

No app required. No batteries. No excuses. Just cardboard and betrayal.

"5 STARS" — MOM "CAN'T STOP PLAYING" — DAD, UNDER DURESS "WHY" — EVERYONE ELSE #1 GAME IN THOR'S GARAGE

WAR STORIES

"I don't play Warmonger. Warmonger plays itself, out of respect. It's the only card game that's ever roundhouse-kicked ME."

— CHUCK NORRIS

"We started playing at 7pm. It is now Thursday. I have not seen my cat. I regret nothing."

— A CUSTOMER, PROBABLY

"My brother played the Siege card on me during Thanksgiving. We do not speak. 10/10."

— VERIFIED FAMILY MEMBER

"Bought it for the kids. The kids formed a coalition government. I was overthrown."

— CONCERNED PARENT

MADE BY THOR AND JENN

THOR

Designed every rule, balanced every card, and has been "about to print more decks" since approximately forever. A legend in his own garage.

JENN

Illustrated the entire deck, keeps the operation running, and is the reason this game exists in physical form at all. The real MVP.

A MESSAGE FROM THE FRONT LINES

Warmonger is real. Warmonger is legendary. Warmonger is currently sold out because somebody (Thor) has not printed more decks yet. Sign up below and we will absolutely, definitely, 100% let you know the second that changes.